I complain about motherhood often, then rush to acknowledge my gratitude and blessing. Thank God for my son, by all and every means. I am grateful, I do not need to disclaim my complaint with that. For sure, I am grateful.
And I am also exhausted. And lonely (can you imagine that?) and most importantly - TOUCHED OUT.
So when I get the chance for a break, I kind of dance a little inside. Like this weekend, when my in-laws offered to take my son off my hands. He has a blast, they have a blast, I am meant to have a blast too, right?
Now tell me this - does having a blast involve feeling guilty that I am not running after my son? Does it include feeling a little lost that I do not have a list of chores to go through? What is this, I am feeling?
I feel confused and that I am not worthy of rest. And when I acknowledged that, I realised a lot of other mothers probably feel the same (except you in the back, mocking me for not being halfway to Brazil right now). So I decided to write this to remind you that you, too, deserve to curl up with a book. You deserve a manicure and a break and a pat on the back.
All that pressure that is imposed or self imposed on us as mothers and as humans, all this task list and race we are pushed into. Shut it out, once in a while. Breathe. Rest. Recharge.
And let's try again tomorrow.
And I am also exhausted. And lonely (can you imagine that?) and most importantly - TOUCHED OUT.
So when I get the chance for a break, I kind of dance a little inside. Like this weekend, when my in-laws offered to take my son off my hands. He has a blast, they have a blast, I am meant to have a blast too, right?
Now tell me this - does having a blast involve feeling guilty that I am not running after my son? Does it include feeling a little lost that I do not have a list of chores to go through? What is this, I am feeling?
I feel confused and that I am not worthy of rest. And when I acknowledged that, I realised a lot of other mothers probably feel the same (except you in the back, mocking me for not being halfway to Brazil right now). So I decided to write this to remind you that you, too, deserve to curl up with a book. You deserve a manicure and a break and a pat on the back.
All that pressure that is imposed or self imposed on us as mothers and as humans, all this task list and race we are pushed into. Shut it out, once in a while. Breathe. Rest. Recharge.
And let's try again tomorrow.
1 comment
Lulu
Beautiful piece
Beautiful piece